TONI ZOVA

Hi, I just feel like ranting for a bit, mainly at you IEB’s (Internet Exploring bastards)…you know, those of you using IE right now. So ok, if you’re browsing my site using IE, you might not be getting the best user experience ever. Honestly, it’s not going to get any better anytime soon, see, you make my life miserable, you make the lives of many designers miserable. While we as developers/designers try, time and time again to get you sons of cows to see straight, it just never works. Here’s the deal, we can’t spend extra hours tweaking sites to suit your Internet Explorer Browsing ShitStink Ways. OK?

If you’re still reading this, and you’re an IE user, you’re an asshole and your browser is an asshole, your parents were most likely assholes and there’s not much I can say about your future family. If you’re ever able to reproduce you IE using scum bag, I hope to god they don’t get the IE gene from you, otherwise they’re doomed to assholism, like you.

So look, I’m going to be honest: I don’t like you, yes you, IE user, fucking twat shitlicker. BUT…big but here, we can see eye to eye with a little work, so listen up. I need you to boot up your stinking Toshiba ShitBook© that probably weight like 65 pounds, and I know that as an IE user it is mandatory that you eat your meals butt naked right off your monitor so clean that off and hose down your screen, download FireFox, delete Internet Explorer from your computer, grab the keyboard and bash yourself repeatedly in the face, install and run FireFox. You’re one step closer to becoming my friend, you’re not there, God you’re not even close, but you’re one step closer now, well done.