TONI ZOVA

I decided to write this up real quick to save me having to explain some of the following points to individuals each times the ‘points’ arise, so to speak. Once I’m done typing this up I’ll be able to link people to this article and save my self the constipated feeling I get when people, you know, are completely annoying.

So forgive me if I’m blunt, and straight forward here, but I use twitter for fun, pure and simple. To get to know some cool new people and stay in touch with friends, and also follow some news sources there. I’m not there (as many seem to be) for the popularity, hence why i rarely ReTweet stuff, or compliment people, or strike conversations with retards in hopes of them following me back. I’m sorry, people don’t amuse me enough for me to sink to that level, it’s the sad truth.

So you know, my whole idea behind this here post is to simply explain my own personal limits. I’m not trying to go on about how fucking cool I think I am and how you have to follow rules to follow me, or anything like that. I’m saying this now because some of the things down below, you may not want to hear, also because some of you bastards that don’t like me much love to comment on every fucking word I make, so yeah. It’s not you, it’s me, and I hope you believe that, because I don’t, no I mean I do. Right.

1. I tweet a lot, usually. Recently I haven’t because I’ve been busy but yeah I’m known to cough up anywhere around 50-150 tweets a day be it regular tweets, @ replies or whatever. You really don’t want to follow me on your cell phones, because at times your ass hole might pucker up because of how often I tweet, yeah it’ll be annoying. I have friends that don’t follow me and I don’t follow them because of how much we both tweets, so it’s cool. So yeah I tweet a lot, and i’ll keep at it. Period.

2. I probably wont follow you, I regularly unfollow hundreds of people that don’t converse with me, because way back I made the mistake of following back people who followed me. Twitter etiquette my ass. I’ll follow you if we tweet each other a lot, or you’re a friend or family member or amusing. It’s not personal, and I don’t expect you to follow me for the sake of it, I just can’t possibly follow thousands of people and expect to actually have fun on there. Also remember, i’m easily distracted, so I have to draw the circle very small so I can step out of it when I need to, else it gets crazy on there.

3. I honestly try to reply and tweet back all the @replies and so on, but sometimes I get so many that I miss a few, and sometimes there’s just nothing to reply. A bunch of you are well mad wankers, really, you say the weirdest shit, like, you tweet me asking me to give you money, or my laptop, or asking for sperm samples. I love you all but I don’t feel like replying with ‘no’ or ‘piss off’ all the time. Don’t be offended if I don’t @reply you every single time ok? I’m not offended when none of you bastards reply to some of my tweets, ok?

4. I’m an unpleasant individual most of the time, unless you make a really good impressions, which you’re not obligated to do, so keep this in mind; i’m an asshole. I’m not ‘that’ friendly, so if i’m a right cock towards you, please know that I probably don’t even know you, and don’t men anything personal by it. My assholism is like insane gag reflexes, i do it a lot off the bat for no apparent reason. It’s what makes me, me…I guess…?

5. Sorry there’s no #5 at this time, who knows, you all might persist on annoying me in some other way and ill have to come back here and fill this one up.

6. The last thing I want to say really makes me feel like a dick, which is a normal feeling but still. My name. Now I know, it’s not a common guy spelling of it, and you’re all used to Tony, but it’s not Tony. It’s TONI, with an i. T. O. N. I. Seriously, if you accidentally or unknowingly refer to me as Tony, i’ll either block you or call you a really mean thing, it depends on how moody I am at the time but you’ll at least get a “stfu you cock sucking unicorn riding bullshitting midget sucking dolphin shoving asshole pile of shit.” Toni is my name, so really, i don’t go around calling you Jordan if your name is Bill do I? No, i don’t. Ok, thanks.

7. Ok, lastly, I’m not interested in censoring myself for anyone, so if you feel like complaining about who often I tweet or what I tweet about etc, please, save yourself the trouble of wasting 140characters on me and unfollow. It’s as simple as that

That was really tough to write, well parts of it, the parts where I was being sincere and nice/polite, because I don’t want to come off as an arrogant son of a donkey for writing this, or be misunderstood. I will just hope that this is received in the way it was intended, and not the other way. The end, now piss on off to what you were doing before you landed here.

Grabs glass of wine, lights a cig, and publishes post without even proof reading.

Alright so here’s the 3rd and final Guess the tune post for a few days. The first one went pretty well and so did the second, I didn’t make this one any harder really, kept it easy but my guess is some of you wont get it unless you’re a guitar fan or something. We’ll see, it’s a popular one so it shouldn’t be too hard. Excuse me if I’ve massacred these last 3 songs, i haven’t picked up the guitar in a while so I’m still a bit rusty, here goes…

Alright well the prize for whoever guesses this one wont be that special, I’m looking at my desk as I type this to think of something to give, why I do this is beyond me. Ok, I have a cigarette…yes, you’ll win a cigarette, i’ll even sign it so that when you smoke it you’re not only inhaling nicotine but ink, twice as bad but who cares. If you smoke you’re eventually going to die anyway and if you dont smoke you can put it in a glass case and hang it somewhere or something haha. I don’t know if fedex or whatever will be cool with me sending a single cigarette, so i might have to smuggle it to you in something, a book maybe, you know, cut out some paper inside and cram the ciggy in there, ill be creative, I promise. You don’t wanna miss out

Oh and Guess the tune #2 winner was Jason, big up to him, I’ll be mailing both Jason, Uta and the third winners prizes tomorrow.e

This one is still easy but not as much as the one before, sorry if i get carried away or mess up with these i record them once and just up them really and, im rusty.

So, whoever guesses this one first gets my ipod shuffle, ill even sign its box for you.

Winner of the guess the tune #1 post was Uta (@justUta) - she won my unwashed used wine glass!

Ok, i mean if i’m to post things I hate about some women I would probably go on for days typing away. Instead I’ll note just a few things i personally dislike about most women and what most guys don’t like too, remember this is me doing this because you guys asked me to on twitter, you’re responsible for the shit i’m about to type. But for the record, I’m no sexist, on the contrary, I respect women to no end, I think they’re all beautiful and without them we men would be miserable. Truth!

So besides hating on women drivers which Ive expressed over on twitter, I hate it when women criticize each other, if im with someone and all they do is point out this woman’s purse, her shoes, her ugly ass hair, this and that, annoys me to no end. Sure i want who im with to look good, for herself, so she feels good about ‘herself’ and not for other people to point and what not. I have been raised not to care what people say about me or my actions. I know im better than almost anyone out there, it’s how I am it’s not just the ego, so I don’t look to find someone to have as a rival, which women do a lot and it’s annoying. Self confidence and not caring about what others say about your looks at least is a big thing, to me it’s actually a turn on.

Independent self-confident women are awesome. Those that require you to call them special all the time and so on, just no. Guys love to feel girls depend on them, sure, but demanding women are a no no . Being demanding can turn off the nicest of guys that’s for sure.

We all know trust is the basis of any relationship, and jealousy breaks that trust, breaks that relationship. Jealous women that take it up a notch are like natural disasters waiting to happen, like cancer you’re just dying to cut off. Oh and those that think jealousy can be used to revive a relationship are as thick and dense as…well are just thick and dense.

Did I mention women that try to pump emotional talk out of men suck? My god, men say sweet romantic things when they want to, when we feel its right, when they fucking mean it, some women expect it all the damn time. When a woman asks a man ‘whats on your mind?’ in hopes of catching a guy off guard and learning more about how he feels towards her, a guy knows. We’re really not that slow or unaware, we actually know women better than we claim to, so much so I’m sure it will freak most out. We like to have things asked to us straight up, at least I know i do, stop beating around the bush and spit it out you silly woman.

Guys need GUY TIME. Women that expect to have a guys every spare minute of time is ridiculous. Just like women like to have their own space and time, be it to go do their hair, nails, meet a friend, go shop, guys like guy time too, but there are women that don’t get that and in turn end up suffocating their man.

And yes, spare me the ‘there’s so much about men women hate’ because i mean it usually applies to women too. The whole women dont like men with ego’s, or ones that forget stuff a lot, lazy or possessive men, or those that glance at other women….I mean does this not apply to women too? Some women think they’re gods perfect children, others truly do forget stuff a guy cares about because it’s ‘not that important’, don’t even get me started on possessive women and those that look over other guys. Bloody hell.

There are just some things men can’t stand about women, and those are a few. There you go, take notes eh?